Free Ebook Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life
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Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life
Free Ebook Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life
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A self-help book based in science, the result of more than a decade of research, Daughter Detox offers the daughters of unloving mothers vital information, guidance, and real strategies for healing from childhood experiences, and building genuine self-esteem.
Writer Peg Streep lays out seven distinct but interconnected stages on the path to reclaim your life from the effects of a toxic childhood: "discover", "discernment", "distinguish", "disarm", "reclaim", "redirect", and "recover". Each step is clearly explained and richly detailed with the stories of other women. With approaches drawn from psychology and other disciplines and with unique exercises, the book will help the listener tackle her own self-doubt and become consciously aware of how her mother's treatment continues to shape her behavior.
The message of the book is direct: What you experienced in childhood need not continue to hold you back in life. What was learned can be unlearned with effort.
The book begins with "discovery", opening up the listener's understanding of how she has been wounded and influenced by her mother's treatment. Recognizing the eight toxic maternal behaviors - dismissive, controlling, emotionally unavailable, unreliable, self-involved or narcissistic, combative, enmeshed, or role-reversed - lays the foundation for the daughter's awareness of how her way of looking at the world.
"Discernment" delves into the patterns of relationship in her family of origin and how they played a part in her development, and then shifts to looking closely at how the daughter adapted to her treatment, either silencing or losing her true self in the process.
Next up is "distinguish", seeing how the behavioral patterns we learned in childhood animate all of our relationships in the present with lovers and spouses, relatives, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. The act of distinguishing allows us to see why so many of us end up in unsatisfying relationships.
Active recovery begins with "disarm" as the daughter learns how to disconnect unconscious patterns of reaction and behavior and substitute actions that will foster the growth of self-esteem. Understanding the triggers that set us off, the cues that put us on the defensive, and the default positions of blaming ourselves and making excuses for other people's toxic behavior are addressed.
"Reclaim" is the stage at which the listener begins to actively make new choices, preparing herself so that she can live the life she desires by seeing herself as having agency and being empowered.Â
Making new choices and figuring out how to manage her relationship to her unloving or toxic mother is the focus of "redirect".
Finally, "recover" challenges the listener to come up with a new definition of what it means to heal, suggests tools to overcome the obstacles she places in her own way, and strategies to become the best, most authentic version of herself.
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 10 hours and 34 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Audible.com Release Date: July 10, 2018
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B07F1YCTBZ
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I wish I could say that everything in this book is obvious and common knowledge in our culture, but sadly it is not. Before she passed a few years ago my mother admitted to me that she hated me. Honestly, her telling the truth was a gift. For so many years I lived with “emotional confusion†and reading Daughter Detox makes me realize that I am still in the grip of what the author calls the “Core conflictâ€. Which as I understand it, is that we are hard-wired to seek out and need our mother’s love - no matter how badly she treats us. I have been trying to sort through this in my own mind - aware of the problem, but unable to articulate it exactly - and this book lays it all out and explains it.It’s interesting to me when I share my journey with some of my closest friends of what my childhood was like, they can’t believe it. I am grateful to be a highly successful, compassionate and generous woman (this is how my friends describe me), but I am still tormented by the emotional confusion created by my childhood and the “core conflict†persists to this day.That being said reading this book along with daily meditation and seeing a therapist using EMDR I see my internal self changing for the better.I have purchased and sent the book to several of my friends. I don’t know if they will read it, but I want them to know there is a way out of their suffering.It is probably the height of irony that the isolation, emotional confusion and deep loneliness that the daughter of an unloving mother felt as a child continues into adulthood. But this book is a guide to moving through those feelings, changing old largely unconscious habits and experiencing more intimacy and joy.Is it an easy road? On one level, it is “hard workâ€, but I am so excited and grateful to be taking this journey.One more observation, the author is not a therapist and not a scientist. However, her work is filled with references to solid scientific research and evidence. This is not a touchy-feely self-help book filled with rainbows, unicorns and BS. I suspect for some people reading it will stir up the reality of what their childhoods were reallly like and that will not be easy to confront. For my own part, I have known for some time how awful it was, I just didn’t know what to do about it. This book is filled with solid observations and insights that are extraordinarily helpful. I highly recommend it!
Thank you a thousand times! I felt horribly issolated all of my life, like I had done something to deserve all that came to me. It did not occur to me until I came across Harlows' monkey experiment. I was the monkey and the result was not good. I left my mother five years before she died. Went to see her during her last days, and hold her hand, she pulled away. My siblings could not wait to tell me that she hated me. She always said she loved all her children equally, what a lie. I have always been jealous of those arround me that had great parents and their ease with life. There are so many lesson in life that she never taught. I was ignored and left to fend for myself, by an educated woman. Here I am at fifty-seven still struggling, at least I am not alone. It has not been easy to be friendless, distrustfull and angry all these years and not know why. Now I have hope that I can recover from years of an unloving mother.
This book directly addresses the myth that all mothers can adequately, safely and/or lovingly parent children. The author also addresses the concept that it's okay to break connection from relationships that aren't healthy--despite the social/religious/family programming and pressures to stay linked to family regardless of the emotional, physical, or financial costs of doing so. More importantly, she offers practical strategies for recovering from these toxic relationships so that you can go on to thrive. As a mental health professional, I've read many books on the topic of dysfunctional families--but I've seldom read one that rings so true on every page. If you were raised by a parent who was either unwilling or unable to "do better" e.g. parent you competently, love you, keep you safe from harm etc. you'll see validation of your experience within these pages, the recognition that their failure at parenting was not your fault or responsibility, and the hope to believe that life can be great even without that connection.
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